I got sick at the start of the pandemic. It sucked.
Here’s what I came away with: If you live alone, prepare now.
More than you think you need to.
And for a worse illness than you think you need to.
Because you could be in for a lot of things all happening at the same time:
- An illness that we don’t fully understand, which could last for an amount of time we aren’t sure of
- Different experiences of that illness depending on our age, health and other factors
- Inner conflict about how and whether to ask for help from people who could be exposed to COVID-19, if you have it
- Stay-at-home guidelines that mean even if you get sick with something other than coronavirus (or injured, or need a surgery), you may not be able to get the same medical treatment—or even the same level of support from friends and family.
After all, let’s recall the totally unprecedented factor we find ourselves dealing with: a pandemic and the very strong recommendation that we keep to ourselves as much as possible, especially while sick. Huh?
So you need to get ready.
Fortunately, there’s a lot we can do as people who get sick while solo. And preparing physically is one of the best ways we can reduce and soothe the anxiety of knowing that our situation may bring a couple extra challenges.
Consider this preparation a hug you’re giving to yourself. This is self-care, and it’s also community care. (Especially if you ask your friends if they’re ready, and send them a link to this post.)
A little bit about my experience
The sickness I came down with is called EBV (Epstein-Barr Virus). It includes the possibility of relapse. And, true to form, I’ve already relapsed once. EBV shares some symptoms with COVID-19, especially as we see people’s COVID recovery taking months: there’s fatigue, brain fog, difficulty doing daily tasks. Plus I could still come down with COVID-19, if I haven’t had it already. It isn’t clear what role COVID-19 may have played in my experience, since testing restrictions were still tight when I got sick.
Why I prepare
That’s why even though I was already sick, I spend some time each week getting my kit together.
I prepare under the assumption I may be debilitated with just a few hours’ notice; unable to walk far; struggling to get to the bathroom; unable to stand or prepare food. I imagine I can hardly move. How will I survive? The preparation needs to answer that question.
And, as a Person Usually Very Prepared For Life ™, let me just say that I wasn’t nearly prepared for this.
What I got wrong the first time around
One of my biggest mistakes at the outset of the pandemic was thinking I’d be fine with the usual assortment of medication and soothing food. I set myself up with some protein shakes, soup mixes, rice and access to flu medication. After getting sick, I realized it had been some time since I really, truly was debilitated from an illness. I assumed I’d be able to get up and get things (false). I assumed I’d be able to cook for myself each day (false). I thought at least I could do online research as usual (false—too fatigued to look focus on a screen for more than a few minuets).
So, if you’re usually a pretty healthy person, it’s time to push yourself and let the imagination soar. Start by thinking through times you were sick—as a kid, as an adult. I’m not talking the flu. I mean, really, really sick. And try to remember what you needed. If you don’t have a time like that in your memory, try to imagine.
For those people who already experience chronic and long-term conditions, it will not be hard to summon up this image. I want to recognize that this article may not carry as much value for these readers, who have already had to make many accommodations and draw on deep strength.
How to make the most of this article
This is important. Your quality of life, if not your life itself, actually could depend on it. So don’t let this just be another “interesting, aaaaand next!” browsing moment. Here are some tips to make sure you come out of this ready to take action.
- Take notes as you go. Note actions you want to prioritize, questions you have or items that are missing. By the time you’re done reading, you’ll have the start of your own action plan. Notetaking methods: paste into a document and take notes in that document; print and take notes in the margins; write your own notes in a notebook under the headers “info, questions, to do.”
- Prioritize. Look over your notes or the sections of the article, and list the numbers one through five by the items that are most important to you.
- Adapt. Make changes so the plan is customized to you. You may need to add elements depending on your specific health needs, nutrition, networks, housing, risk factors and goals.
- Share. Tell other people you have read this article. Normalize the topic. Start a conversation about how you can support each other or others you know.
If you feel hesitant, or if it’s a bummer to think about all of this, just remember: the sooner you get ready, the sooner you can stop thinking about having to get ready. And I believe you will also gain a level of internal peace knowing that you have done all you can to care for your future self.
Timing
When do you put this into play? Here’s my suggestion, based on what I wish I had done before getting sick: Prepare everything so that you can move it into place with very little notice, using little energy. Just do it now!
Once it’s all prepared, when’s a good time to really move things into place? For me, it’s when you have mild symptoms—that low grade fever, the tickle in the throat that lasts more than a couple of days. You can always pack things away again if the symptoms remain truly mild.
Remember that the coronavirus can start mild, even seem to recede for some time, and then return with a force.
Figuring out what you need
Now is the time to create your den of comfort, your paradise of recovery, your nest. But what exactly do you put into that den?
To do this, sit in the spot where you’re most likely to spend your recovery. Imagine your day and night there. Imagine being dog sick! And fill out a table like this one. Your goal is to figure out the experience you’re likely to have, how to make it as optimal as possible, and then determine what items and people and supports will make that happen.
I’ve filled it in with examples.
| Time of day | What I do | What I use | What I eat or drink | How I want to feel | Who I communicate with |
| Wake up | Stretch, eat, take vitamins, check temperature | Yoga mat, phone alarm, thermometer | Lemon water, banana, water for vitamins | Restful | |
| Morning | Personal care, talk with friend, research medical care | Hairbrush, phone, video messaging app | Alert | Friend for daily check-in | |
| Afternoon | Eat, nap | Microwave, bowl, spoon; body pillow, large pillow to sit up | Rice | Restful | |
| Bedtime | Talk with family, make notes from the day, check temperature | Electric kettle, mug, phone, notebook, pen, thermometer | Licorice root tea | Reflective | Sibling for daily check-in |
| Middle of the night | Struggle to sleep, experience symptoms | Thermometer, phone, charger, Netflix account, meditation app, humidifier, pillows | Water | Equipped for a long night | The demons of the night 🙁 |
If you sit down and create your own table, you’ll find there are more time slots in your day, and possibly different columns. This exercise will give you many insights—how to set up your room, how your day might look if you get sick.
Setting up your healing space
Now that you have a list of what you’ll want throughout each day and night, it’s time to get it set up. That’s right: do it now, while you have the mental and physical energy. Your future self may thank you. Show love to the future self!
I recommend using a module approach. Keep similar items in separate containers, baskets or bowls. When you need that category of item, you won’t have to dig around for it; you can just look in that basket. This may be especially useful if your mind is foggy and it’s hard to remember where you kept things. Make it as foolproof as possible.
The module method is also helpful for those days when you’re first getting sick. After all, you likely don’t want to keep your entire house in the “ready for recovery” state. With items ready in modules, you can more easily make the rounds and assemble them where you’ll need them. For example: you might grab your box of medication, stack of clean underwear and a crate of water bottles. Place them all on the larger-than-usual bedside table you put in your room. That’s a lot easier than rifling through bathroom cupboards, dresser drawers and the back of the pantry.
What you need: the nitty gritty
This section is filled with more ideas of what you can set up now to create the best possible physical space for recovery.
What you eat
Think about the times you’ve been sick—truly, deeply, desperately ill. Imagine a time you couldn’t handle solid food. Your energy would be too low for cooking, your attention too shot to use a knife or flame. You can’t get up to go to the kitchen (at least, not often).
What do you eat? How do you eat it? What food, what implements?
My suggestion is to buy the supplies to stay hydrated: electrolytes, Gatorade, ginger ale (flat), Pedialyte. I keep mine in my room, meaning I can support my body even if I can’t get to the kitchen.
I also keep smoothies and soups frozen in the freezer. Think about the value of home-prepared foods: what can you make with a juicer, blender or food processor? What can you make in a rice cooker or multicooker? Where possible, prepare quality, organic meals yourself rather than relying on ready-made. Look out for lots of sugar, fat or salt in processed foods. Protein shakes may be too strong, and the dairy could be less optimal for your body. Make sure some of the food does not have chunks or pieces that need to be chewed. Chicken broth may be enough. Keep enough ice cubes to cool your drinks. If you’re really on top of it, you could freeze some of the ingredients you enjoy using—for those days you’re able to cook. Freeze your prepared food, or store your Gatorade and Jello cups, and forget about it.
These foods and many others can be frozen: soup, smoothies, rice, curry.
What should go into the food? The BRAT diet is standard: bananas, rice, applesauce, toast. I make my own applesauce using apples, honey, cinnamon and lemon juice. Little or no sugar needed. I am now following an EBV nutrition system similar to the AIP (anti-inflammatory protocol). Here’s a list of immunity-boosting foods.
Prepare food to carry you through all stages of recovery. When I recovered from acute mono the first time, I went from ice cubes, to Gatorade ice cubes, to Gatorade and ginger ale, to Cheerios, to avocado smoothies, to garlic naan, to soup, to frittata slices. Recovering from the relapse, I made smoothies followed by lentil soups.
Do you have pests? Make sure you have lids for your food or some way to lock it away when you aren’t eating it. Consider that you may need to take your meals in bed.
What you drink
Think about what you’ll drink and what you’ll drink it in. Water bottles, glasses, cups, mugs… If your room isn’t close to a water source, consider adding jugs or bottles of water to your in-room supplies. As I mentioned, I keep hydrating fluids, with plenty of electrolytes, in my bedroom. When I get up to go to the kitchen or bathroom, I bring my water bottles and refill them.
What medicine you take
Supplements, vitamins, flu medication—place it all within reach, wherever it is that you would be taking it. Don’t assume that cold and flu medication will work.
How you stay clean and meet personal needs
Think about what you would want if you were unable to shower for a while. You may find it hard to stand. Dry shampoo, a brush and deodorant can all be useful. Think about a way to keep your teeth clean even if you don’t make it to the bathroom often.
Do your laundry and keep a clean supply of the clothes you’re likely to want throughout the stages of sickness. Not feasible to keep a store of clothes? Just make sure to do laundry right when symptoms start. Worst case scenario, you have clean clothes you would have needed anyway
The one thing I would never have predicted: the importance of clean underwear, stored within reach of the bed. As with most things on this list, you could keep these in a basket or stack that is easy to set up by the bed when symptoms start or worsen. Believe me. While you may be too sick to care for a while, there will come a day when you appreciate this tip.
Put your razor, facewash, period supplies, etc. where you’ll be able to access them quickly. Hang or fold a clean towel in an accessible spot.
A variety of layers can be useful to have on hand, too.
Do you have enough of everything? Take an inventory. Replace that toothpaste. Buy more pads. Get your prescriptions stocked.
How you make things pleasant
Think about the environment you’ll spend most of your time in—and how to make it as pleasant as possible. Now is the time to create that haven you’ve been putting off.
I recommend keeping your room in such a state that you will find it rejuvenating and restoring if you have to stare at it 24/7. When I first got sick, I brought medicine and supplies into my room and just left them there. It was very exciting to finally recover enough to be able to put them away.
Books by the bed can be a great way to stay entertained. Headphones were helpful for those nights I woke up at 2 am with no energy for anything other than Netflix. Environmentally, I enjoy sunlight, plants and artwork. So my walls have art hung at different height. My bedside station is covered with a cloth to make it look more pulled-together. An external speaker could be great. You may want a surface to place your laptop.
Do you spend very little time in the bedroom now? Move some of your favorite furniture and artwork into your room so it’s ready to become your favorite room of the house. If this seems hard, imagine you’re preparing a guest room for a long-term guest who’s dear to you.
Will you recover somewhere other than the bedroom? Set up that space along the principles shared in this article.
How you support your recovery
Think about what you use when you get sick. I like a humidifier, nose strips and to be elevated when I sleep. So I now have a lot of pillows on my bed. When my symptoms first started, I unpacked my humidifier. A space heater or heating pad could be a good choice—buy products with an auto shut-off.
I have a lot of blanket options within reach of the bed, whether I’m sweating, shivering with chills or trying to match the changing temperatures of the environment as the seasons change.
The nature of my illness meant I needed a container handy to catch anything that might travel the wrong way through my digestive system—to serve in case I threw up. I used a beautiful ceramic bowl. You’ll know what works for you. The same bowl was also useful to provide a stable surface—and protection against spills—for jars of smoothies and glasses of water, kept right on the bed with me for easy access.
Some items aren’t specific to illness, but add comfort and lower your stress. These could include a vase for flowers, autofeeder for a pet, sketchbook, journal or white noise machine.
Recovery is mental and emotional as well as physical. Think about whether you will want to access your therapist during this time. Do you have practices that will help you process painful events? What if you feel you do not receive the support you need? How might feelings of isolation impact an experience of being sick? Meditation or prayer can be a very helpful practice to start now. Consider how your emotional health may equip you to recover more quickly. This article has helpful information including dealing with mental health in the recovery after COVID-19.
In fact, those who recover from COVID-19 may be struggling with how to mentally process everything that their bodies have been put through. They may even develop signs and symptoms of an acute stress reaction, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). … According to Warner-Cohen, people with a previous history of trauma, anxiety, depression, or poor social support are more likely to have a significant trauma reaction, although anyone is susceptible. “The words left unspoken are the most dangerous. Talking with a neutral party, not a friend or family member who experienced distress alongside you, can be extremely helpful,” Warner-Cohen said.
What I’m saying is: get your mental health in order now, as much as you can. There’s no light switch you can flip to have good mental health forever. It’s a daily, hourly orientation with practices that may change as your needs and situation change. And you can start some of those habits and practices right now.
Plan your processes
How you get things delivered to your house
Since your energy might be too low to set up services while sick, go ahead and create accounts with delivery services now. Check on the usual delivery times. Some services may take days to deliver groceries. Others may not have coverage for every region. Consider how a delivery service might affect your budget.
Look into local stores and restaurants that provide specialized services to people who are high risk, affected by COVID-19, etc.
If you can afford delivery and the service ranges includes your home, there’s still the matter of getting the items inside. Will you be able to make the walk to the front door, open it, lift up one or multiple bags or packages, carry them inside, unpack them, sanitize them (if needed) and return to your bed? What about if you’re weak, easily fatigued and easily winded? Consider how you could arrange for an alternate delivery plan, like including instructions to go to a side door or making a deal with a neighbor to help you carry the items. You may decide to bring the box or bag inside but carry the individual items to the kitchen or bedroom one at a time. You might need a station in the kitchen with sanitizer, paper towels and a trash container, plus open counter space, to wipe off items. Create those staging areas now.
How you track your symptoms and recovery
Set up a notebook, a custom Google form, sticky notes… and a pen. However you want to track it, this will help you talk about your symptoms later. Good things to document:
- Date
- Temperature
- How you feel
- Medication you took
- What you ate or drank
- Diagnoses
How you manage your obligations
What if you can’t grab your mail for a while? How about the effort it takes to open that mail, write out a check, get up to find a stamp, go back out to your mailbox… well, that’s one day of energy used up. Far better to move as many commitments as possible to digital payments.
If you’re responsible for another life beyond your own, start reaching out to create backup plans on backup plans.
Strengthen your support systems
How you get medical care
Check your insurance, look at your local care network and refresh your memory of how to get in touch with a medical care provider. Check on the pricing and locations of the nearest Urgent Care clinics. Bookmark the information, write it down or save it to a map.
When it comes to hospitals, check the details of your insurance coverage to confirm where you want to go. Make sure you understand as much as possible about what is covered, from ambulance rides to long-term stays.
Unfortunately, many of us in the U.S. can encounter high and confusing health care costs. Look into how you can predict costs and minimize them should you require emergency or long-term care.
Keep a mask handy so you can wear it in case someone needs to drive you. If they do drive you, keep the windows open and ask them to wear a mask, too.
How you communicate needs
You’ll want your devices close at hand, with chargers. If you don’t have a good electronics setup and outlet near your bed or wherever you’ll stay when you’re sick, set it up now.
Think about the apps you’ll want to use. Several social media apps now have video and voice. You can use IM apps to stay in touch. Phone and text work well. Your neighbors are also a resource!
Think about your relationships. If you don’t already, start getting in the practice of reaching out and offering and asking for support. Ideally, there are people in your life who can commit to being there for you—or who you know you can turn to.
Important roles include:
- Checking in on you—ideally over voice text or video, ideally every day or multiple times per day
- Contacting others if they don’t hear from you (discuss the exact parameters of this plan, and make sure to give this person all the right contact information)
- Dropping off essential items like groceries
- Coming into your house and bringing essentials as close as possible to you
- Mailing you or dropping off encouraging letters and items to help keep your spirits up
- Entertaining you with music or conversation (socially distanced)
- Driving you to the ER or a clinic
Build bridges now so they’re present when we all need them. Check in with people while we are not as stressed. Get as many relationships as possible to the point where you wouldn’t feel awkward saying, “Hey, do you need anything?” or reaching out if you had a need yourself. Say, “I am here for you,” and let people know in what ways that support could take place. We don’t know whose survival will rely on whom. And this support can play a protective role in the present, reducing anxiety and helping our immunity and sense of hope.
How you get help in an emergency
Make your home easy to navigate
First, consider placing your keys somewhere they can be used from outside your house; or give a copy to someone you trust, who lives very close and is trustworthy to be available at most hours. If this arrangement isn’t feasible, look into products that allow emergency workers to gain entry to your home.
Create a pathway or supplies for someone to enter the house and provide you with food, drinks or other support while having minimal contact with you. This might include placing wipes and hand-washing supplies differently than usual. Make sure soaps are clearly stocked.
Make entry instructions including any quirks and the location of your room.
Make a list of people
- Who should get the instructions in case of an emergency
- Who should be contacted in case of an emergency—right away
- Who should be contacted if things continue to go badly—which family should be notified?
Contact as many as you can, whether formally—asking them to be your emergency contact and walking them through likely scenarios—or informally, by building up your relationships across your community.
Do your homework
There’s one last thing we need to talk about. This actually has to do with some of the last things each of us may do… ever. And it’s important. It’s about helping out your loved ones and leaving a legacy of care.
Here’s how to do your loved ones one of the biggest favors possible:
Prepare your wishes in case medical intervention is needed, and in the case of your death. Preparing this way doesn’t make the outcome more likely. But it does go a long way to contributing to the long-term peace of the people you care about.
You will want to put these together:
- Will
- Power of attorney
- Advanced health care directive
- End of life and long-term care preferences: this can be informal—things like whether you’d like to be at home instead of a hospice or hospital, what kind of music would comfort you, how often you’d like your hair to be done if in a long-term care environment
- Celebration of life preferences: note that this is largely about comforting the people who love you—it can be kind to give some guidance, and then an assurance that whatever they choose is the right thing
“You could do these things at my funeral. But, to quote Rhett Butler, I’ll be dead, so “frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
Paraphrase of my grandma’s funeral preferences, written on an index card and passed around the family
Send these to everybody you can think of: family members, doctor, hospital you’re likely to go to.
Keep in mind that if you aren’t totally sure what you want in each of these categories, the people around you are even less likely to know. Plus they will be very wrapped up in beginning to mourn and process wha thas happened. Short of reading the future, you are the closest thing we have to an expert on what you would prefer. This is truly a gift only you have the power to give.
The nice thing is, once you’ve completed this step, you don’t have to return to it unless your wishes change. Set it, share it and forget it.
What’s your next step?
Remember that action plan?
Do you know your next steps?
I invite you to share them with me as a way of staying accountable. Or, better yet, write them up or grab a selfie and share them to your social media. Spread this way of caring for ourselves far and wide.
If you feel set up, then perhaps it’s time to think about who in your life may have these needs. We all face different challenges. We can all contribute different gifts to one another. It’s honestly the only way to live.